After you’ve realized that you might be more than friends, the next step is to figure out if this feeling is reciprocated. If you are observant, you may pick up on some unintentional signals that may indicate your friend feels the same way and may be open to dating.
Think about how your friend talks about potential romantic partners: Does he refuse to talk about it with you, or is he vague? Conversely, does he talk about women he might date more than he did at the beginning of your friendship? Some people will either avoid the subject or overcompensate if they realize they have romantic feelings for a friend and they aren’t sure how to proceed.
Be on the lookout for how often your friend asks you about your love life. If they ask you lots of questions and seem overly curious, this may be a sign that your friend might think of you as more than friend. Also, if your friend asks you what you’re attracted to or wants to know about each and every relationship you’ve had, this could also be a major sign they like you.
How does your friend act when you are dating anyone else? Are they jealous? Do they think that no one is good enough for you? After all, if they want to be with you, it makes sense they’d see red when thinking or talking about someone you’re dating. In the past, has your friend encouraged you to end things if you brought up any problems you had with a dating partner? They may have given advice that any friend would give, but look back on the tone of the conversation.
Sending a Response
You shouldn’t assume that just because your friend gives you a hug or calls you during the week that they are interested. Those kinds of signals can help you decide whether or not to take the plunge, but they are never sure bets. Because of this, you want to proceed with caution before asking your friend out.
If you think your friend does like you in a romantic way, try flirting with them. If they flirt back, this could be a sign that things will heat up in the future. Touch their arm or hand lightly in conversation and gauge their reaction. Also, try spending more time with them in general. Invite them over to watch a television show, go on coffee dates and try talking on the phone, e-mailing or texting them more than you have in the past. If your friend eagerly reciprocates, things might fall into place.
Try dressing up when you’re around your friend. This doesn’t mean you should wear a tux or a low-cut dress to a casual coffee date, but it involves taking more care with your own appearance. A more polished look could encourage your friend to see you in a new light.
Broaching the Subject
You may think your feelings are obvious, but your friend may be oblivious. At some point, you will have to bring up the subject, and you must be clear about your intentions and your feelings. If you don’t say that you have romantic feelings, your friend wind up confused.
After you’ve sent your own signals, know that the timing of your communication has to be right. Don’t ask your friend out if they’ve only just broken up with their significant other. You don’t want to be anyone’s rebound. Instead, wait a few months to make sure that the feelings are still there. Once you are confident that there’s no rebound potential, ask your friend out when the two of you are already alone and having a good time together.
When you ask your friend out, know where you want to go. A plan will help your friend realize that you are serious and not on the rebound. The plus side to asking out a friend is that you already know your friend and what your friend likes to do. If your friend says yes, then the next challenge is seeing if the two of you work as a couple.
If Your Friend Turns You Down
There’s always a chance that your friend might not think of you in the same way. Your friend might not be attracted to you, or they may have been burned when they dated another friend, and they would much rather keep your relationship the way it is. If this happens, you want to take special care with how you react to this news. Do not run away or keep your distance. Though things might be a bit awkward, if you work through this, you can stay friends.Stay polite and respectful the next time you see your friend. Remember that they may not want to risk losing your friendship. Also be careful when talking about your friend with mutual friends. If you are upset that you were turned down, don’t gossip about your friend because it will get back to them, and you’ll lose the friendship.
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