Born To Die- Lana Del Rey

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Feet don't fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I'm hoping that the gates,
They'll tell me that you're mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you're mine
It's like I told you honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause you and I, we were born to die

Lost but now I am found
I can see but once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Tried to take what I could get
Scared that I couldn't find
All the answers, honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words,
This is the last time
Cause you and I
We were born to die
We were born to die
We were born to die

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause You and I
We were born to die
We were born to die

It hurts badly

It's just been a couple of months since we began chatting and got to know each other well. Now I have to stop thinking of him, I don't want to make him feel bad cause of me. I have to stop this before I have this feeling get deeper and deeper. It'll hurt I know, CLEARLY he's gonna leave, and I have to prepare, I have to start to let go now. I wanna know what he feels, hope he feels alright,hope he doesn't care of me. he'll always be there and I'll always be here. see, blog?

I deactivated our communication tool. I target myself it should work ! through this way, we'll have our own clear way. if now, we don't. i feel so blur. sometimes I think whether I did is right or wrong, I keep going on it hoping everything's gonna be alright. I am a mess. nobody likes me, I hope. better like this, always think myself unwanted and work hard. thanks my friend. thank you. I can guarantee your feeling will change once you see me, cause you're not this type of man who likes this type of girl, just know it. you will love this someone who is beautiful, perfect feminine elegant woman that you can bring in every place with pride. which is not me, or yet. so, I know I'm pessimistic girl, I'm just not with you, won't be.

see me clearly here, honestly tell me what you see from your deepest heart. i wanna know what you feel. i'm this sad when I keep thinking that I'm nothing to you.

Obviously

Obviously, I am stupid. Stupid to be in love. I wish I could say all words in my head, they are spinning round and round. just answer me, do you keep someone in your heart? cause you seem to just vanish. I start the conversation, you end it. Obviously, I understand. How's that even possible for someone to treat a person well who's recently known and we haven't met yet. *chuckle* Silly Me.

Such a Drama

Silently sneaking him out
Everyone must have fallen in love in the young age, everyone
It doesn't even matter to me if he ever did too
question, " does he keep the feeling?
Is he waiting for someone?"
such a drama
I'm waiting for him, but He's waiting for someone else
He doesn't send any signals if I exist either
It's always be me who's asking if he's for real
It's always be me who's this awkward, annoying and unwanted girl
craving and painting my life with my own imagination
for he would throw his first conversation to me, throw the simplest out-of-date question is okay
but, no
He won't
a simple thing I want from him is what I can't get
It's like I'm chasing all those stars in the early morning
Mission failed, feeling not matched
All these signs give me a thought
that "you-let-me-in"
but "you-don't-welcome-me"
such a drama huh.

(Im)Perfect Lie

I think I know how it feels to be betrayed by friends. though it's a friend who is recently known. I did, to one of my colleague. I did tell lie to her. it was imperfect lie. I told something untrue and she constantly found out the truth in front of us. I felt ashamed, and even-though she didn't judge me that I lied, officially. but her eyes, changed at once. I didn't mean to lie, I automatically lied. that lie was not beneficial to me

And I Hurt

PANTATKU RASANYA MAU JERITT e________________e kuliah ampe jam 9 malam teng udah syukur2. kali ini sungguhhhh takkkk termaaffffkaaannnnnn oleh batinkuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. arghhhhhhhhhhhh *lebay*