Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Now I Just Can't

Love me or never.
I'd be strong in front of you, always try to be an independent mature girl in your eyes. for a second you might think I am just this damn fake kid that has successfully tricked you out. I never want to be alright. I know, you have these so many good friends and girls around, you travel meeting people out there. just a glance from you would bright my whole day, just a good morning text would make me smile and feel blessed at once, just a reply from you would drive me crazily happy. All my try that you call fake is what I'm really helping myself out of being a kid in your eyes. don't you know that? now I'm sorry for being that once.

no replies, I wait. no msg, I understand. but now all the hope hurts me. The more I wait, the more I understand who the real I am for you. now I just can't take the fact that you don't care. now I just can't believe you're leaving without me having met. now I just can't accept each day I still wait for you desperately, wishing you'd know I'm here. I think a lot but I don't say much. do you feel the same? it's such a shame. no one will know exactly why I willingly spare my time getting online. in fact, the only reason is for one.

I feel hopeless. but I'll always hide this feeling from him, till he's leaving. cause I'm this stupid ugly old-school kiddo that he ever knew. I don't know where to run but blog. let me be like this, I don't want him to know how pathetic I am here, waiting for a dream that always be a dream. now I just can't convince myself that there's a way for us. I'm sorry for being so. love just ain't you, I'M ON MY WAY TO BELIEVING IT, painfully. don't message me anymore.
I'm not who you think I am. I'm the cruelest girl ever, for she hurts herself that no one can know. remember this okay. "YOU.AND.ME.>>OTHER"

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