path dream through

it's about a couple of days and I'll reach my 18th. BEING SEVENTEEN IS SOOO MUCH. I get my first real hot interview where I had to answer the easy quiz, interview, write teaching plan and stuff. I was sooo glad finally I had a job after school and thought It's gonna be a real fight. and, it was.

as an English tutor, I had to learn speaking English in my working environment which was a little hard cause I didn't practice speaking it so often. thanks to God some people there wanted to start the conversation with me since I was an introvert person. tee hee... from that on, I tried and tried giving my best to be good. I loved being one of that part. The company has a very good and tidy management that the teachers not only teach and earn, but this "something" that is hard to find anymore, discipline lessons. I can feel the presence of discipline once I notice around the area. and I miss it. :(

now I'm looking for another job, I promise God if you really send me to the teaching job again, I'll change all I-think-it's-hard to all-is-good. despite I'll learn new lesson well. as long as I'm through my 17, I feel sooooooooooo grateful, God. I do. I never want to spoil, eagerly want to buy anything. I learn to save, cause this world is being so cruel lately. this world taught me life is not about a flying dream, but chasing dream and get it to the ground.

see, this world has a lot and a lot to learn something wonderful. I'm not kinda girl who likes having fun with friends and traveling and shopping, socializes a lot. i mean, I REALLY WANT TO, if I could. I can't speak much, it's not my ability. which is why I'm not into business. I feel like, "can anyone see through me without caring how I look, how I speak, walk, run, cry, smile, chat?" well, I don't think so. and that makes me strong and feel comfortable being myself, cause it's only me who really can understand me, spiritually connected, soul mate. this seventeen has really taught me what real life is and I begin to accept it. No, I won't forget those whom I love the most, esp my grandma. she is up there with God, and I'm happy for whatever you do that makes you happy too, grandma. okay, don't cry.

one thing you should know, blog, I do chat to myself more than to other people. -____________-


my 18 is gonna be my next life-meal *groammm* all I think is college college college, saving saving saving. :)

I don't know why my today's post is a mess. but, keep blogging !